At the start of December, 2021, I took a break before Christmas, having made a solid (if somewhat slow) start to the long-intended rewrite of my first novel, The Shadow of the Ruin. When I stopped on the 14th of December, I had added another 12,070 words to my rewrite, bringing it to 48,677 – about 40% done, if I stick to my plan.

Two months later, I have added 0 words to that rewrite project.

Why?

Again, like it did in September, life happened. Or, more accurately, death happened.

Over the Christmas break, my grandfather died suddenly and unexpectedly while my family was visiting. Helping my mother deal with the legal and financial aftermath has taken a toll on my time, but it’s not the reason I haven’t returned to writing yet.

As cliche as it sounds, my heart just hasn’t been in it.

I’ve set two goals of when to resume; first in mid-January, and then at the start of February. I’ve missed both. Every time I’ve prepared and sat down to begin writing again, I just can’t find the motivation and spark to write. I don’t feel depressed on a conscious level – but under the surface, where my creative side lives, there’s a sea of anxiety and listlessness that has so far swallowed all attempts to cross it.

My next goal is the 14th of February, two months after I began my break. We’ll see if I make it.